All things Scottish Archives - Page 3 of 4

What if everything you think you know is a lie?

It’s fascinating seeing how many of us have the same worries and insecurities. In a twisted way it’s comforting having a common denominator with complete strangers. In another way it’s tragic that so many of us are sacrificing our peace at the altar of misery and deprivation.

Maybe deprivation isn’t completely correct. Some of us sacrifice our peace at the altar of plenty. We trade our time for more money; more success; more stuff!

The tragedy of that is that money is replaceable. Time is not. If the equation worked the other way that would be perfection; trading something replaceable for something irreplaceable. That’s not how it’s working for most people.

Time is traded for more and more money to be able to get stuff to make living more comfortable. When exactly are you living? When exactly are you enjoying all the stuff you’ve accumulated when your time is thrown at acquiring more of it? ‘I’m working to provide for my family.’ That’s very noble, make no mistake.

BUT. Your partner cannot cuddle a credit card. Your children can’t make a cheque book laugh. Your friends can’t have a beer and share laughs with your piggy bank. YOU are necessary to complete those transactions.

Relationships go down the drain; marriages end and your partner makes off with half of your stuff when what they probably really wanted was you. Friendships are traded for success because who has time to maintain those when you’re working 80 hours a week for your 6 figure salary?

Then there are those who sacrifice their peace at the altar of deprivation. Every little pleasure is regretted and penalties must be paid. Finding pleasure in a tasty morsel is repaid with hours of self-loathing and self-abuse to ‘work it off.’ Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order. We already know that.

There needs to be a balance. Sure, if you just ate 87 doughnuts, 14 boxes of cookies, 2 buckets of chicken and a partridge in a pear tree, then ok; you need to reel that in. To hate and punish yourself for finding pleasure in a hot chocolate with marshmallows, or a rich slice of something delicious makes no bloody sense at all.

What if…. What if Judgement Day isn’t an accounting of your sins and failings but rather an accounting of every happiness and pleasure that you’ve thrown away with both hands? If you had to stand before your God of choice and the question was: Why did you deny yourself the pleasures I created for you? Do you have anything close to a decent response to that question? I’m going to go with no.

There’s no excuse that’s valid. Between climbing the success ladder striving for perfection (which is already impossible to achieve anyway) and piling on the self-loathing, we’re still reminded about all the sins we commit on a regular basis; so eternity isn’t looking good either.

Well here’s a nugget of useless information for you: The word ‘sin’ is derived from the Hebrew word ‘syn’ which was a term used in archery. It means ‘to miss the mark.’ So not eternal damnation, merely an error.

It would be interesting to know how many lives would have been lived differently if that nugget of information had been taught instead. Just a thought…

Shortbread… because you know you want to!

Here’s a recipe for shortbread that I got from a friend in South Africa many moons ago. Her dad is Scottish so this was their go-to recipe for shortbread. Thank you Jeannie for passing this on, I’ve loved every bite over the years!

I made a batch over the weekend and have inhaled every last biscuit on that plate. No, I didn’t share. Don’t be ridiculous.

Scottish Shortbread

Ingredients:

120g (4 oz) plain flour

60g (2 oz) cornflour/cornstarch

60g (2 oz) caster sugar/baker’s sugar

120g (4 oz) salted butter (don’t use margarine, for the love of God I beg you!)

Sieve the flour, cornflour & caster sugar together.

Add the butter and mix in with your fingers to make a dough. The longer the better.

When you’ve got a smooth dough, sprinkle some cornflour onto a work surface and roll out to roughly ¼ inch (6-7mm) thick.

Shape as you please, and lay onto a lightly greased baking sheet. Don’t position them too close together as they do rise a bit.

Bake @ 350F/180C for 15 mins.

***Please note, there is a VERY fine line between done and overdone when making shortbread***

The darker brown ones are overdone (I rolled them too thinly.) You're looking for slightly darker yellow but NOT brown — The darker brown ones are overdone (I rolled them too thinly.) You’re looking for slightly darker yellow but NOT brown

It will turn a slightly deeper yellow and slightly risen when it’s done. Brown = overdone.

Start monitoring from about 10 mins onwards. Bear in mind, if you roll the dough too thinly, the cooking time will need to be reduced or the shortbread will burn. Don’t make the mistake I did of putting thinly rolled and thickly rolled biscuits on the same baking tray. That’s asking for trouble.

Allow to cool slightly before removing from the baking tray or they will break.

**As a random side note: one thing I’ve come across over the years are people who flat out refuse to share a recipe. Yes, this is a personal choice but seriously, the greatest compliment you can get is someone asking for your recipe.

Anyone who wants a recipe of mine is welcome to it. It’s makes me smile knowing I’m ‘at’ their dinner table every time they make it. Life is meant to be delicious and if someone thinks your food is worthy of repeating, then that’s saying something. Be nice.

Food, glorious food!

What better way to spend a bank holiday than making yummy food smells?

Today’s menu is Cauliflower and Bacon Soup. The soup is dead simple and takes less than an hour end to end.

You’ll need:

1 small cauliflower, chopped into florets.

2 medium potatoes, chopped.

1 large onion, chopped.

8 rashers bacon

2.5 cups (600 ml) vegetable stock

1 cup milk (250ml)

Salt and pepper to taste.

Extra bacon to garnish *optional*

Gently fry bacon and onion in a saucepan big enough to hold all the ingredients. The bacon fat will melt and make fat to fry the onions so no need to add oil.

Once the onion is translucent, toss in the potato, cauliflower, stock and milk and bring to the boil. Reduce heat and simmer until the cauliflower is tender.

Pop in a blender and liquidise. Season to taste. I have a heavy hand when it comes to pepper. If you use salty bacon please taste before adding more salt. It’s impossible to unsalt a dish.

Fry up a few extra rashers of bacon to sprinkle on top as a garnish and serve with hot buttered toast. Delicious!

Cauliflower and bacon soup with hot buttered toast

Depending on your concept of portion size, this recipe makes 4 generous portions of soup or 6 normal people portions.

You’re welcome.

I might not be home but it sure does taste like it!

Back in January when the New Year was still fresh off the shelf, the plan was to find balance and harmony in my life. Since being back at work post-surgery the balance and harmony have been shot to hell.

Right. That’s enough. It’s time to go back to the starting line and try this again, shall we?

As I’ve mentioned before, the world’s most comprehensive collection of cookbooks reside on my kitchen shelf so today it’s time to dust one of them off and cook some comfort food.

My Nana used to make a sublime minestrone soup. That woman could burn water 87 ways and according to my Dad, he didn’t know cabbage was green until he met my mother. Nana either deep fried EVERYTHING or boiled it to death, and then just a little bit longer to be sure. Hers was British cooking the way it’s historically been known to the rest of world. Bland with no adventure.

Despite this, her sausage rolls, Cornish pasties, scones and minestrone soup were incredible. Sadly I never paid attention when she tried to teach me how to make these things and those recipes are now cremated with her and scattered around Ennerdale Water in Cumbria. *As a side note here, learn from your parents and grandparents. There will come a day when you’ll be racking your brain trying to remember something that was meaningless to you years ago. It’s gone.*

With it still being winter and more than just a wee bit chilly outside, it tastes like a beef stew and Colcannon kind of day. Colcannon is a traditional Scottish dish made of mashed potato and cabbage and beef stew is well, beef stew!

Beef stew is traditionally made with dumplings but I’m going to go renegade today and serve it on Colcannon instead. We’ll hold the dumplings for another day.

After a trip around my favourite ethnic market for fresh veg, with the world’s squeakiest trolley (shopping cart for Americans) I definitely contemplated the cliche of ‘the squeaking wheel gets the grease,’ but that’s a problem for another day.

After a cup of coffee and a long chat to my crazy mate in London, which ended in hysterical laughter, it was time to try something new.

This is the recipe I used courtesy of Food.com. *So once again, did not use a single recipe book on my shelf… dammit woman!*

http://www.food.com/recipe/creamy-colcannon-191442?mode=us&st=true&scaleto=2

A word to the wise. Read the recipe properly. I made the mistake of chopping up the potato in their skins and then boiling it, rather than boiling whole. Getting the skins off little bits of potato was a pain in the arse but that was my dumb mistake. Don’t make the same one!

There were a few recipes in my cookbooks for beef stew, none of which really appealed. *Yes, I’m fussy.*

So again, to Food.com and found this one which looked simple enough. I opted to serve with Colcannon so the dumplings didn’t happen.

http://www.food.com/recipe/a-winters-walk-beef-and-carrot-stew-with-herb-crusted-dumplings-270955?photo=112161

There’s something therapeutic about cooking something from scratch; chopping, peeling, stirring.

When browning the meat for the beef stew, I used a lot more butter than the recipe called for. The smell of melted butter… yum! Calorie counting isn’t on the agenda today. It wasn’t done back in the day and it’s not happening today. *Feel free to lose your mind about it if you want. Makes no diffs to me.* I also substituted the canned tomatoes for fresh ones.

The finished product - grub's up! — The finished product – grub’s up!

Keeping it old school today left me with a pile of dishes and in the spirit of keeping it traditional they were washed by hand. I unpacked all the stuff in the dishwasher and washed those too. Don’t ask…

The odd thing is when I start cleaning, there’s really no off button. It goes on until there’s nothing left to clean. The kitchen fell victim today; everything from my pantry to the fridge/freezer. It turns out I have a mystery collection of fancy strawberry jams I knew nothing about. *I should make scones… maybe tomorrow.* Condiments so far out of date I’m not convinced I was in the country at the time they were bought.

Frozen foods I can no longer identify and preserves. A bottle of pickled beets that looks really questionable. Really?! Tossed the lot.

Roll up your sleeves and tackle your kitchen. You’ll be glad you did. My spice collection is much larger than I thought it was and order has been restored on the shelves. There’s finally a clear view of what’s there and what isn’t.

The stew is in the oven making yummy food smells, so while that’s doing its thing and I’m in the mood it’s time to tackle the endless piles of paperwork and filing. My filing box is fit to burst and I’m willing to go out on limb and say every receipt I’ve touched since 2010 is in that box.

Order will be restored before my head hits the pillow tonight if it means staying up until the wee hours getting it done *aided by Scotch, of course.*

It’s going to take balls to get it done

It’s been a mixed bag this week. My leave of absence ended and I returned to work. It was both better and worse than I expected. For the most part, there were no problems to return to. On the other hand my body has struggled immensely and I’m frustrated.

The train commute has been brutal and by the time I get to the office I feel like I’ve been punched in the kidneys repeatedly. It has left me tired, cranky and irritated by my limitations. A distance I could cover in just over 5 minutes now takes me 25 minutes. I feel broken.

In among getting up to speed on my work, I made some time to research UK visas and the cost has increased significantly since I last applied. It’s good in a way in that the extra cost involved is a health surcharge which goes towards funding the NHS, which is something immigrants and residents have access to. It’s a brilliant service and well worth the charge, no question about that!

It does, however, change the finances of the game and my impulsive decision to be gone by June has been put back into perspective. November was a more realistic target. That has put a damper on my mood somewhat.

Given the financial target I’ve set myself for the year in terms of savings, debt repayment and all the costs involved in relocating, it’s not a far stretch to say that I need to step outside my comfort zone to reach that target.

The mere idea of that terrifies the hell out of me.

To save the money I want and need to do this, I need to consider alternate streams of income. That means taking a chance on something outside of my regular 9-5. It means putting myself out there and risking criticism by putting my creativity on the altar to be judged.

It means I need to put my fear in a neat little box up on the shelf, stop listening to the eternal dialogue of ‘you don’t have what it takes’ and just do it. Take any endeavour in life and look around you; there are people just like you stepping up every day and doing it. Writers writing; painters painting; singers singing. Maybe the fact that we identify ourselves as something other than our passion is the problem here.

On the inside I’m a writer yet when people ask me what I do, I immediately say ‘I’m in finance.’ No. No!

Fear has a very loud voice and a captive audience. We need to stop identifying ourselves by the ball and chain that depletes our will. It’s time to take a risk and put into words what you really are.

I am a writer. I am a photographer. What are you?

It’s a New Year chaps!

The gift of a clean slate and a New Year. While this might seem a tad trite, remember how many people haven’t made it to today.

I started this blog for a few reasons:

My friends kept ‘reminding’ me to do it.

I wanted a place to put all my incoherent ramblings into one neat package. #OCDproblems

To write my way through finding balance in my life.

I’m sure there are other reasons but my short-term memory is shot to hell. It’s an ongoing source of amusement for my family. I apparently picked out my Christmas gift from my brother and sister-in-law (also referred to as my sister) and I don’t remember ever doing that. I opened my gift and it was still a total surprise. I do appreciate my excellent taste though.

I can’t settle on a hard and fast definition of balance that suits me. In my head it looks a bit like life flowing smoothly while I serenely float through my days not letting the petty details sink my boat. I can hear my family laughing hysterically at this as I have the world’s shortest fuse and everything grinds my gears.

There was a period when I was still living in South Africa when my life was pretty serene. That’s not to say there weren’t things getting in the way and it was all honey and roses. The usual chaos was still there but I had a handle on living with it.

I took the dog for a walk along the coast every morning before work. I kept a diary of 5 things I was grateful for each day, however small and insignificant they were. I ate right. I got enough rest. I made time to read up on things that interested me.

For the life of me I can’t figure out why I let it all slide back into chaos. My OCD is legendary to anyone who knows me.

There’s no reason why I can’t go back to this way of living now. It would probably mean not reading the news for extended periods of time because let’s be real, it’s outright depressing. Mass shootings. Presidential candidates and their crazy mudslinging matches for heaven knows how many more months. War. Terrorism. Natural disasters and all the ways Mother Nature is losing her mind. Everything causes cancer until it turns out it’s good for you. Chemicals in everything. Blah blah and the rest of it.

Yeah, so that’s gotta go. (Let’s see how long that lasts…. I get bored and flip through all the online news sites a dozen times a day.)

Being a Gemini means each of my ‘personalities’ has their own hobbies and interests. This in turn means I’ve subscribed to piles of newsletters, blogs and the rest of it hoping that somewhere in among all of that is the meaning of life question that’s finally been answered. My inbox takes up a huge chunk of my day just deleting and filing piles of stuff I can’t find the time to read.

It’s time to click ‘unsubscribe’ me thinks. I follow a few blogs that consistently post meaningful articles; the rest need to go. Step 1 in restoring order and buying me some extra time in the day.

Step 2 is going to be restarting my daily gratitude journal. Even on the worst days possible, there’s something to be grateful for, even if it’s just that you didn’t fall under the train.

Step 3 is going to be sorting through the organized clutter in my apartment. I downsized my apartment about a year ago and got rid of a pile of stuff on Freecycle. It’s a free site where you load items that you no longer want/need and you gift them to people who can use it. Gifting is entirely discretional but no money ever changes hands. It’s a friendlier way of disposing of stuff that’s still useful, but no longer useful to you. Why send it to landfill when someone else can get some more use out of it? Consider it if it’s in your area.

I have a pile of recipe books. I love books in general. I will pay to ship my books each time I move, I don’t care. Somehow my recipe book collection has taken on a life of its own. It’s time to pick a book and find new favourite foods. Either that or find a new home for the books. Many years ago I read a quote: Do not keep anything in your home that you do not believe to be either beautiful or useful. (Or something to that effect.) Words to live by. Somewhere in those books are meals that might just be the trick to shifting some of the extra fluff around my middle section. There’s no reason I need to live on the same small selection of meals when there’s a world of yummy out there waiting to be tasted.

People tackle weight loss as a chore. While it’s certainly not the most fun you can have in a day, there’s no reason it needs to be the bane of your life. Nowhere is it written that ‘dieting’ has to taste like shit. If it is written down somewhere, I’ve probably clicked ‘unsubscribe’ on it. Life also doesn’t have to be a constant battle of trying to diet or dying to try it? I ate myself into this mess, I’m going to eat my way right back out of it.

In fact, I think I’ll put the concept of dieting on my list of things to forget. Diet spells deprivation in my head and in the words of Sweet Brown: “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”

I’m fortunate that my daily commute involves 2 miles of walking 5 days a week. Actually, it’s only fortunate on days it’s not snowing. On snowy days it sucks! That reminds me, I should get a dog… Someone please remind me because I will forget. I want one of these:

muh puppy!

Run along chaps. It’s time to start working on your 2016 vintage.

Scotland 2015 – heading back to London

I made it to the plane station and got checked in on time. My body is such a mess I can’t keep food down and didn’t sleep a wink last night. There might have been some quiet sobbing into the pillow.

When the flight left the tarmac, the tears arrived. They didn’t stop until I reached London. God, this is the hardest thing I’ve done in years. How do you leave a place that you know is home? How do you make yourself go back to a life you don’t want?

I grabbed a snack at Luton then caught the coach to Heathrow. From there it was a London taxi to Staines and back to Mykal’s place. Time to rejig my luggage and see how the bleeding hell I’m going to get all this stuff home. I’ll jettison clothes, but the Scotch is going! Win, lose, shit or bust, it’s going!

Here’s hoping I sleep tonight because it’s back to Chicago tomorrow. Shoot me now.

Scotland 2015 – Day 9: My last day :-(

Morning Scotland! Sun’s up, the sky is blue, pretty sure it’s still cold out there but looks like it’s going to be a beautiful day. Going to put some miles on my boots today but first stop, Loudon’s, for a last go at their Eggs Benedict.

Just realised my flight to Luton is leaving an hour earlier than I thought it was which means I have to leave here at 4:30 am tomorrow morning, to be on the 4:50 bus to the plane station for a 7am flight. So wake up at 3:45? Oooof.

Breakfast at Loudon’s was perfect – again. I’ve been there so often they all came over to say goodbye. I’ve really enjoyed meeting them, what a fab bunch of people! Other than breakfast at Loudon’s and some retail therapy down Prince’s Street, there was nothing else on the agenda for today. There’s a crystal shop somewhere in Edinburgh, which is a few miles of walking but I have nothing else I want to do today so time for a stroll.

I passed a mall and stopped in to use the facilities and pick up some tourist tat to take home. No trip is complete without the cheap souvenirs; it’s the law. I found this absolute gem in one of the shops:

I pretty much wandered around aimlessly; sat in the Gardens for a while, just soaking up the views of the skyline. Listening to the accents walking past, trying to lock them into my head to take home.

I don’t want to go and have been teary most of the day. God this sucks sweaty balls! I want to go home, wrap myself in my Saltire and just stay wrapped up like a mummy until they return my remains to this place to live out eternity. Who needs heaven when you can have Scotland?

Please don’t make me go 🙁

Scotland 2015 – Day 9: Nowhere to go and all day to get there

It’s been a great day. Started off at my fave coffee shop for brunch. They know me already! They all took turns to pop over and say hi so I’ll defo be back there tomorrow for my last breakfast. Their food is sublime.

It was pouring with rain and I took a wrong turn so hid under a bus stop until it stopped. I got chatting to this tiny Scottish woman; what a riot! She was hiding behind me so she could smoke without anyone noticing. The absolute best advice is found in the strangest places. According to my temporary bus-stop friend: There’s no such thing at bad weather in Scotland, only wrong clothing. Genius.

After thanking all the gods that I was wearing my all-weather hiking boots, I found my way back to St Giles Cathedral to take the pics I didn’t take last time. They were in the middle of a service so sat in for the end of it. I’m not religious but I was REALLY wound up about people sitting in the service ON THEIR DAMN PHONES!! Really?! It’s a CHURCH. They’re in the middle of the blessing and prayer and you’re on Facebook? For real?? Heathens….

dscn7052 dscn7082 dscn7078 dscn7077 dscn7068

I didn't notice the Masonic Compasses at the base of each column the first time I was there. Nat pointed them out to me when we stopped by — I didn’t notice the Masonic Compasses at the base of each column the first time I was there. Nat pointed them out to me when we stopped by

The Patron saint of Scotland - Andrew — The Patron saint of Scotland – Andrew

Margaret is everywhere here. I've chosen her as my 2nd name — Margaret is everywhere here. I’ve chosen her as my 2nd name

I've never really appreciated the detail that goes into stained glass. It's amazing — I’ve never really appreciated the detail that goes into stained glass. It’s amazing

Thank God indeed! The Scots are responsible for some of the most important inventions we use every day. They even invented the decimal point. — Thank God indeed! The Scots are responsible for some of the most important inventions we use every day, like the decimal point.

I spent quite a while just sitting for a bit, soaking it all in. By the time I left the sun was up again so hoofed around taking pics, stopped at the City Art Center and then hoofed down Prince’s Street looking for a place to buy luggage. I cut through Prince’s Street gardens. Holy crap…. the view of the castle from down there is insane!

The height of that cliff is mental. It’s a very imposing view and absolutely stunning. Took a pile of pics, none of which I think accurately capture the scale of that cliff.

Another corner, another impressive building

The cemetery at St. Cuthberts. Time to do the necessary. — The cemetery at St. John’s. Time to do the necessary.

My OCD liked the colour gradient in these 3 flats.

A beautiful Celtic Cross on the side of the road on Prince's Street. — A beautiful Celtic Cross on the side of the road on Prince’s Street.

Don't forget to look up from time to time. There are little gems hidden everywhere. This was above a regular store on a random corner. — Don’t forget to look up from time to time. There are little gems hidden everywhere. This was above a regular store on a random corner.

Stopped in the St John’s cemetery to do the usual. For a cemetery in the middle of the High Street, it was eerily peaceful. Found a luggage place, got a suitcase to trek my booze home in and now on the sofa under my blankie. Might go out for dinner later if I can find the energy to put civilized clothes on again.

Scotland 2015 – Day 8: well this sucks!

I saw them off at the plane station, which was harder than I thought it would be. I had a bit of a wobbly on the bus back into town; miss them already. I had to drown my sorrows at Loudon’s with some decent tea and lunch.

It was such an amazing time with them, we put a lot of miles on our boots and stairs…… dear god the stairs! It’s raining at the mo so I’m going to have a hot shower and take the rest of today off and chill under the blankie in the living room. I’ll be back out there tm being a tourist but for now I need to just miss my friends and drink wine.

Ya know, being here has been everything I’d hoped it would be. I had a lot of junk to sort out in my head and all the ‘meaning of life’ stuff to figure out. I think I’ve gone a long way to figuring out what I want in my life. Balance has definitely been restored.

I didn’t think I’d hack a holiday traveling solo but it’s been amazing. Very liberating in a lot of ways. I’m not as much of a pansy as I thought I was. I think being solo here feels more natural than in the US because the culture and atmosphere are completely different. I’ve gotten better at listening to what my body wants. If it wants a nap, I have one. If it wants a cream tea, I have one of those. Food here is pleasurable and in just the right quantities. It hasn’t been stressful and I eat whatever the heck takes my fancy. I’m not calorie-obsessed like I am stateside. The food is delicious and I savour every bite. I don’t have to worry about additives and sugar in everything because sugar isn’t the chief ingredient like it is in so many foods stateside. I walk pretty much everywhere and haven’t once felt unsafe doing so.

I reckon by the end of next year I’ll be back here full time. Rain, clouds, snow and all, this feels like home and it’s time to come back. I don’t want to go back to Murica. Can I just have my shit shipped here? Please and thanks.

HA! Just realised it’s my 5 year anniversary today. I left England 5 years ago today. I should toast this occasion immediately.