If you’re a single woman, you’ve undoubtedly been asked ‘have you met someone yet? about a million times. I’m sure other women mean well when they ask, but quite frankly, it’s annoying.
To answer the perpetual question: no, I have not and let me tell you why:
The entire bed is mine with all the blankies. And the bathroom with ALL the cupboard space. The toilet seat is always down.
Everything in the fridge is mine and there’s not a single concession item in this house because I don’t have to cater for little Petunia who only eats apple sauce.
If I don’t want to cook dinner, I don’t. Ice-cream is a perfectly acceptable dinner after a shitty day. So is scotch. The good stuff.
Everything stays exactly where I put it and the only person I’m tidying up after is me.
I can listen to whatever music I want and hog the remote all day long. No-one talks during the movies or critiques my taste in music. WIN!
If I want to take a vacation somewhere, it takes about 10 minutes thinking about it. It’s my money and I’ll go where I please when I want to.
I can spend all my disposable income on books instead of food and not feel guilty.
My chores don’t include doing someone else’s jocks and socks.
If I don’t want to put on clothes, be social or talk to anyone, I don’t. Simple as that. Phone goes off and I’m unreachable.
There’s an entire room for all my weird ‘new-agey voodoo shit’ and hobbies and no-one around to roll their eyes or complain about it.
I love my decorating style where everything is mismatched. There are no communal rules to live up to.
I can move house/city/country on a whim and I have done. Several times actually and more than once the decision was based on nothing more than the swing of a pendulum. All my most important decisions are made that way.
I can spend 8 hours talking to a friend on Skype without someone having a jealous wobble about it. I don’t need permission to spend time with my friends.
So yes, I’m single. It’s going to take someone truly spectacular to change that & I’m not entirely sure that someone has been born yet. And if he has, he’s probably wearing a kilt. Just sayin’.
