The idea of soulmates is not something to be taken lightly. Some scoff it off as fairy tales; others believe.
I’ve often wondered if I’ll ever find mine. The pessimism of reality tries to drown out the single spark of hope but somehow that spark won’t die. I want to believe he’s real.
This is something I wrote a long time ago to the soulmate I haven’t found yet.
Tens of thousands of words in existence, millions if you count all the languages. Yet here I sit and I cannot find the words. You have to wonder if there are words that haven’t been found yet because sometimes you come up against a feeling or thought and all the words in existence are suddenly MIA. Cannot find a single one to make the feeling real.
Maybe the feeling has a color, a smell, a sound. Blue. The most epic shade of blue framed in a smile that could melt any resistance in its path. The sound of that laugh is something burned so deep into my mind that I don’t know that I could erase it if I tried. I wouldn’t want to. There’s an empty space that the sound fills perfectly.
The pure terror that comes from knowing something without knowing how you know it. Are you from another time and place? Another lifetime? Are we back at the start again for the hundredth time because we walk this road in every incarnation? Are you the treasure I seek each time, sometimes to be found, other times not?
My hands want to reach out for you, to feel your skin, to absorb your heat. It’s getting harder to resist, I’m only so strong and the gravity of you is something I can’t fight forever. You’re orbiting me and each orbit is bringing you closer. When we collide will that be the end of life as we know it? Complete destruction of everything that went before, a slate wiped clean only to begin a new life form after the collision.
It wouldn’t be the first time. The gravity that draws us together cannot be stopped. Each lifetime ends the same way. You with me. Me with you. One. The end result never changes.
So we build in challenges, set up obstacles to be overcome because where is the fun in the same game each time? New challenges to overcome just to prove we will not be kept apart. With no memory of previous lifetimes the only clue we have each time is an aching emptiness that cannot be filled by anything or anyone else. The emptiness is deafening in its longing; a soundless scream into the void calling the other and then our gravity moves everything in its path to bring us back into orbit again. We latch on and we start circling each other in the eternal game that will end in us morphing into one again.
The search for the twin flame continues.
